“What doesn’t kill you, makes you stronger” – cliché or the path?
“What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger”… Is it true? Is it really true? Can you definitely know, that it’s true?
If ‘it’ doesn’t kill you, it will definitely mold you into a better version of yourself, into this stronger, immune but most importantly confident person. The pressure in public and social media promotes the image of a perfect, fierce, successful, young, bold & beautiful… We have to be flawless, fearless and always super happy, showing it off to the world, creating an image of ourselves… an image…
As the result, the overall view on our real portrait, appearance, achievements, mistakes we make, the failures we encounter has changed over the decades… it has changed dramatically and significantly.
What really changed? How much changed the way we perceive everyone around us and even more importantly… how we see ourselves in that distorted mirror.
How much has changed, the fact that we become more judgmental, snapping fast into conclusions, without having a slightest insight on what’s actually happening.
We think that we open ourselves and our lives to others by posting some happy photos on social media… by sharing some thoughts of ours and repeatedly posting popular cliché quotes.
But are we really this transparent and real, when some of us are hurting deep inside under a thick shell of fake smiles… sweeping under the carpet all our failures, afraid that the big world will judge it badly…
What doesn’t kill me, makes me stronger… I used to believe that. I used to think, that those smaller or bigger errors of mine, would indeed make me stronger.
Everybody makes mistakes, right? At some point in life, each of us happens to fail at something… after which we, more or less smoothly get back on our feet, empowered and ready to conquer the world!!! Right??? Cause, that’s how it works. Right???
I used to believe that too. To the certain point of my life, this Nitzche’s epic sentence was my shield. And it happened to be the answer to some awkward questions and excuses.
Yes… excuses, excuses, excuses… really holding us back from being brave, courageous and true to ourselves…
But still… if it didn’t kill me… it must’ve made me stronger…
The journey of this thought I believed, was put on hold for some time and it began, evolving again before and during, my experience with Cancer Foundation in Northern Ireland.
I was very lucky indeed to have been supporting the Foundation, but especially to support those in need. Those diagnosed with cancer, their loving families, and friends.
As I had looked after my close friend, my ex-mother in law, caring for her every day and night, seeing her disappearing slowly day by day, feeling her pain, both physical and emotional, and then having lost her due to pancreatic cancer, a person who was very special to me,
I felt disappointed…
Disappointed with myself…
Extremely disappointed! As if there was anything more I could have done at that time.
With my four week old baby and four year old toddler, I flew over from Northern Ireland to Poland, to make a difference… I strongly believed that I could make a difference. What I hadn’t realized at the time that it was already way too late, as she was given only a maximum of four months…
That excruciating pain, experience that only those will understand, who have been down the same road, led me to the feeling, that this was my path… at least for the time being. Bringing support in any possible way to others became my path… It also brought an inspiration, put me to work, put my emotions into a tornado of feelings, to then take out from it… my Holy Water.
Through the way of working for the Cancer Foundation later, I encountered many fantastic and fascinating people, co-workers, volunteers and patients. It was like a redemption to me, even though there was nothing I should’ve repent for.
Among those, and especially those diagnosed with the cancer disease, happened to be the strongest people I have ever met.
Strongest by the spirit, strongest by the will of living, strongest by the way they empowered everyone around them, and strongest by appreciating every single day they were granted to live.
Those people themselves, being in a great need of support, care, love and compassion, never spared or stinted it to anyone with their endless generosity…
Now, that I think and contemplate all the falls, failures and mistakes that I’ve ever endured and made in my life I see it differently.
I see the oceans of experience and seas of knowledge… lakes filled with wisdom, raging torrents of thoughts and ideas, and small ponds filled with millions of data petals floating on its surface…
Now, I love each and every one of the falls and failures from the past… I cherish and appreciate what I used to call – a mistake…
For they all mold me into who I am today and I am proud of it!
If I could, I would wear each and every one of them ‘failures’ out in the open…
cos’ I’m proud of all my scars… as the scars can teach you well how to become a better version of yourself!!!
Though I’m alive and healthy. I am happy with the life I’ve created for myself, with the life I’m living… and It’s the little things that count…
You know… I failed big time in many ways!!! Dammit! Yes I did!
But I also survived the circles of Hell and Inferno…
G: are you afraid of falling again?
N: Not anymore!
G: So can you say … It didn’t kill you…,
N: No, it didn’t, it only made me stronger!!!
G: In that case how are you moving into the future?
N: I can’t wait to fall and stumble upon my next mistake!
G: But why?
N: I can only learn from it and become a better version of myself!
A figure of speech… 😉
And You? Who would you be without Your Story?
I’d like to know You better, I’d like to know Your Story too…
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